… as many would coin it. Convenient, yet short lived relationships to get one by through the holidays without the total sting of being single. Surely, you’re aware that the relationship has an expiration date on it with only the avoidance of being single as the cause and reason behind the relationship. Of course,
All the rules of a successful relationship are set aside for many entering the holiday season alone. This because the concern of being lonely over Christmas and New Years outweighs reason and any thoughts of returning to loneliness shortly after that midnight kiss into 2014 with that artificially “special someone” are tucked away deeply so as not to interfere. This someone gets to fill the shoes of the missing person in your life… date to the company party… cuddle partner next to the Christmas Tree and/or fireplace… gift giver/receiver… mistletoe benefactor… dance partner at the New Years dance… and the kiss at the end of the year that rings in some hope of a brighter new year… Now, am I saying all relationships that start or reach new levels this time of year are artificial? No. Only saying it’s more difficult now to discern between real romantic feelings toward someone and those emotions you’re left with after watching too many Christmas romance movies.
While some might be pretty upfront about their holidate intentions – as related in an ABC.com story a couple years ago, most of these relationships begin without either one noticing or admitting the real nature of the relationship. Don’t let the excitement and spirit of the holiday season cloud your judgement when going on dates with and socializing with others. By all means, date. But, don’t get caught up in the moment and put in the fast lane of a ‘relationship’ that may end up being just temporary. If you feel you’re being rushed into something, by all means, slow it down the same as you would any other time of the year!
Holidating Tips (if you want to date during the holidays and avoid being hurt):
- Avoid people who are only looking to fill a void. Some singles out there really struggle with being happy if they aren’t attached to someone. Around the holidays, their strife with the single life can be increased and their efforts to be with someone can also be increased. Throughout the year, their relationships are brief, and a holiday relationship – with all it’s heightened emotions – can result in an even shorter timeline.
- Keep it light and fun. Find things you both enjoy doing together and start doing those things together. Just like you would start dating anyone else.
- Avoid Avoidance If you find yourself avoiding getting to know someone, and your cuddling, kissing, etc. is far outpacing the relationship, then you might be in trouble.
- Don’t rush it Just because you’re doing the company and family parties this time of year, doesn’t mean you need to have someone go with you. If you aren’t at the point in a relationship where you’d introduce someone to your family other times during the year, then it’s probably best to go to the family party solo. If you take a date to a company party and aren’t ready for a serious relationship with that person, make sure it’s understood. It’s much better to know where you’re at in a dating situation, than to be lead on.
Whether single, attached, or holidating this season, focus on what you do have in your life that is real and lasting. Be grateful for all that you have and who you are. Being satisfied with yourself, regardless of your status will prevent you from mistaking dating out of convenience for the real thing. 🙂